What about … Living Together without Ma

Increasingly, men and women choose to live as husband and wife without being married. This essay will answer some questions asked about living together. 

What is marriage? 
We learn from the Word of God that marriage is the lifelong, exclusive union of one man and one woman, as husband and wife. Marriage is a part of God’s creation. Thus, we read in God’s Word, the Bible: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Gen.2:24;cf.Matt.19:5–6;Eph.5:31). Elsewhere we read, “Since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband”(1 Cor. 7:2). And, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral (Heb.13:4). Marriage is such a precious blessing that God inspired the Apostle Paul to describe marriage as a picture of Christ’s relationship with His bride, the church (Eph.5:22–33). 

Why is it wrong to live together without marriage? 
Simply stated, a couple that lives together as man and wife without being married is sinning. God’s Word is clear: “You must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts....Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more”(Eph.4:17-19). Our Lord Jesus Christ once helped a woman living with a man who was not her husband to recognize that what she was doing was wrong (John 4:16–18). Lutheran Christians believe that the sixth commandment, “You shall not commit adultery,” means, “We should fear and love God so that we lead a sexually pure and decent life in what we say and do; and husband and wife love and honor each other" (Luther's Small Catechism, p. 10). All of this is another way of stating the obvious: Men and women are not to live together as husband and wife, unless they actually are husband and wife. This is as true for 80-year-olds as it is for 18-year-olds. 

Why does the church care about this? 
The church cares because God cares. The Lord’s Word is very clear in its condemnation of sexual activity outside of marriage. Consider these passages: “Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers...will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Cor.6:9-10). “Among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people”(Eph.5:3). “The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery. ...I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom ofGod”(Gal.5:19–21). 

Why is living together such a serious problem? Because God’s Word clearly shows that it is sinful for couples to live together without marriage, people who persist in behavior that God rejects and condemns as sin are choosing a course that may lead to eternal punishment. God’s Word is clear: “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God. ...The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life”(1 Thess.4:3-7). 

Isn’t the church being ‘judgmental’? 
The church is declaring the truth of God’s Word. On behalf of Christ and His people, pastors have the responsibility to speak clearly to couples living together and to proclaim the Word of God to them both Law and Gospel. It is never easy for a pastor, or a congregation, to deal with couples who are living together without marriage. It is important for both pastors and congregations to deal with these situations pastorally and faithfully, in a caring manner. 

Shouldn’t a couple find out if they are compatible? 
Research has demonstrated that living together without marriage results in a relationship that it less stable and fulfilling than marriage. Furthermore, couples who live together have a much higher risk of divorce when they finally do marry. Living together is a bad idea, even from a purely human perspective. One study notes, “Those who cohabitate before marriage have substantially higher divorce rates than those who do not; the recorded differentials range from 50 to 100 percent higher” (“The Relationship Between Cohabitation and Divorce”[1992], Demography,29:357–374). Studies conducted at Yale and Columbia found that “the dissolution rate for women who cohabit premaritally with their future spouse is, on average, nearly 80% higher than the rates of those who do not” (“Commitment & the Modern Union,” American Sociological Review,[1988],53:127–138). 

How does the church deal with these situations? 
The church, and the church’s pastors, will inform couples living together without marriage that what they are doing is sinful. These conversations will take place in a loving manner; but in faithfulness to the Word of God, such conversations need to take place. These situations cannot be ignored or overlooked. It may be necessary to place unmarried couples living together under church discipline in order to help them realize the seriousness of the situation. This response may offend people. They may become angry at the church, or the church’s pastor. Sometimes an entire family is upset when a situation they have ignored is finally dealt with. The Word of God has a way of cutting through all issues and exposing our sinfulness. That is the work of the Law of God, which shows us our sin. Offending people is certainly not the church’s goal, nor is it the church’s desire only to have people recognize their sin. The church wants people to see their sin, so that they may see their Savior. The proclamation of the Gospel is the church’s highest priority. 

How can such a couple resolve the situation? 
A couple living together without marriage needs to take concrete steps to end the situation. They may choose to separate, with no plans for marriage. They may choose to separate until they are married—hopefully soon. It is important that they make a commitment to marriage counseling before their wedding, and perhaps after their wedding. Some couples may choose to be married by an officer of the court. This is a completely valid marriage in the view of the church. Couples choosing this option are encouraged to have their marriage publicly recognized by the church as well. No matter the decision, they will want to seek their pastor’s counsel. 

What is the ultimate solution to this problem? 
There are many solutions we can identify. Christian families need to understand what is right and wrong. Early on, parents need to speak with their children about God’s expectations for marriage. Pastors and congregations will want to work patiently and lovingly with couples caught up in this sin. Concerned Christian congregations need to pray that the Holy Spirit will work in the hearts and lives of those involved in this lifestyle in order to break down their resistance to God’s Word. Christian congregations must not ignore the problem, but must deal with it faithfully. Congregations need to speak about this matter. Couples that recognize their sin need to hear God’s comforting word of promise: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness”. If they choose to be married, they should do so with joyful confidence in God’s forgiveness and His blessing on their marriage. 

Dr. A. L. Barry
Past President (1992-2001)
The Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod

Congregational Art Show - Friday, November 8, 2024

Calling all artists …
Zion’s 2024 Congregational Art Show will be held on
Friday November 8th from 6:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.
In the Fellowship Hall, with Wine & Hors d’oeuvres, Lemonade & Cookies
Families Welcome

• Confirmation Age and up for submissions

• Wine, Appetizers and Dessert - We will provide

• Music during event - Provided by members of the church

• Go to: ONLINE SUBMISSION FORM

• DOWNLOAD SUBMISSION FORM

• We are seeking student & adult musicians to provide ambiance music during the show. Sign up in 15-min increments using this MUSIC FORM.

This exhibit will happen in the Fellowship Hall on Friday November 8, 2024 from 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Paintings, drawings, sculptures, photography, ceramics, fiber art, art-form jewelry, and more may be submitted. It may be a current or past original works of art. Use the submission form above to enter, or preform.

Questions? E-mail: events@zlcb.org

Pictured above in the slideshow are image from Zion’s last member art show in January of 2016.

Bulletin: Sunday October 27, 2024

View the bulletin for Sunday, October 27, 2024
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THIS WEEK AT ZION

Friday October 25
7:00 p.m. - Ladies “Booo-nco” (Halloween Bunco) (additional details)

Saturday October 26
No Events Scheduled

Sunday October 27
Reformation Sunday
8:00 a.m. — Worship Service with Communion
9:15 a.m. — Adult/Teen Bible Study & Sunday School
10:30 a.m. — Worship Service with Communion
11:45 a.m. — Refor-Fest (additional details)
(The 8:00 a.m. service streamed on our YouTube channel)

Monday October 28
6:00 p.m. - Grace Bell Choir Practice
6:00 p.m. - Confirmation Class - 2nd year
7:00 p.m. - Confirmation Class - 1nd year

Tuesday October 29
6:15 p.m. - Faith Bell Choir Practice
7:15 p.m. - Adult Choir Practice

Wednesday October 30
2:00 p.m. - Mid-Week Worship Service with Communion
2:30 p.m. - 30 min. Bible Study - The Book of “Hebrews”
(The 2:00 p.m. service streamed on our YouTube channel)

Thursday October 31
No Events Scheduled

Friday November 1
No Events Scheduled

Saturday November 2
No Events Scheduled

Sunday November 3
8:00 a.m. — Worship Service with Communion
9:15 a.m. — Adult/Teen Bible Study & Sunday School
10:30 a.m. — Worship Service with Communion
(The 8:00 a.m. service streamed on our YouTube channel)

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CLICK THE UPCOMING EVENTS GRAPHIC to go directly to our UPCOMING EVENTS page

4th Annual REFOR-FEST! ... Sunday October 27th

Join Us for Zion’s 4th Annual REFOR-FEST!
Sunday October 27, 2024
12 Noon - 3:00 p.m. … Rain or Shine

Catered German Meal!
Beer & Root Beer
Guessing Jars
Pastor’s Famous Bingo

Advance Tickets Required
Adults: $15
Kids (4-10 yrs.): $5
3 and Under: FREE
Purchase your tickets in the Narthex after Sunday Service
Questions: Contact events@zlcb.org

ONLINE GIVING

For those who prefer to make their donations online via. zlcb.org/donate (A.K.A. eservicepayments.com) — a new look is coming on Wednesday November 15, 2023. The final look hasn’t been carved-in-stone yet, but this will give you an idea of what the new design will look like. We wanted everyone to know about this change, in advance, so you know that Zion hasn't been hacked, or that you might have been re-directed to bogus website. As always, make sure you look for the “s” which stands for secure in https://www.eservicepayments.com and for the padlock icon at the beginning of the URL. You can be assured your online banking is 100% safe.

If you have any questions or concerns, contact Mary Lou Rilee,  Financial Secretary.

Thirteenth Annual "Adopt a Grandparent"

During the Holiday season, I enjoy brightening the lives of residents in local assisted living and nursing home facilities in Allegheny County. Many of these people have few, if any, visitors and receive little, if anything, during the Holidays. Last year, through the generosity of local businesses and friends, I helped deliver over 1000 gifts to residents of John J Kane Regional Hospital, Scott Twp and McKeesport, and several other nursing and assisted-living facilities. This year I hope to help deliver 1000 + gifts again.

By partnering with me, your $15 will provide each of two residents a fragrance-free hand cream and help them have a very Merry Christmas. These items are specifically requested by caregivers for the benefits the residents receive. The lotions will soothe their hands and bring joy, as well, by the simple "touch therapy" of applying them. Donations must be received by Nov. 30th … they will be delivered in early December.

Please consider what a blessing this is for the men and women in these facilities who once lived and worked in our local communities. Let them know they are remembered! THANK YOU!

Make your check payable to Ginny GrankeKimberland. If you have questions about how you, your school, or your business can become a sponsor, please contact me at:

Ginny Granke-Kimberland , 7082 Clubview Dr., Bridgeville, PA 15017 412-427-9013

VIDEO: Wednesday October 23, 2024

View the Bulletin for Wednesday, October 23, 2024
Worship Service: 2:00 p.m.
Bible Study: 2:30 p.m. — The Book of Hebrews
All are welcome, bring a friend, neighbor or relative

Visit our YouTube channel — Click the red “subscribe” box, and then click on the “bell” next to that box to receive Live Streaming notifications. You must be logged into YouTube to activate these features.

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